Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Randomize