After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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