Can Purell be used as lube?
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
This gyro tastes like lonliness
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
