tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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