and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
