hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.