Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
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afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
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Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.