When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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