Soap is not a condiment
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.