I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE