True but thats because hes a fetus.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
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I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
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I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.