when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year