we have officially lost it.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Randomize
