I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
