in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
