We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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