i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Found the puke drawer
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
