The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
