people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
