do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
You don't make any sense
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