I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
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