i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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