Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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