I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
