Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
