you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box