After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
