You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize