I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
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