I'm going to jail i love you
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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