just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
