They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
