he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
