He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
