i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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