so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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