My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Actions speak louder than pants.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
