No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
