3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i will never coherently bang her
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
