please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
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My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
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He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize