i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize