I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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