They should really pass out barf bags in church
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
