Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Holy sore nipples Batman
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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