Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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