I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Randomize
