Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
