just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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