I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
