I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Randomize
