can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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