I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
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woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
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Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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