What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
40s are totally the cure
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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