yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I cut my penus on the lid.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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