i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
