Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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