Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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