god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
