i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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