i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
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I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
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Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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