Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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