Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
