My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
