i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize