is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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