can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
